This past year (2007) God has worked amazingly in my life. I have grown by leaps and bounds in my walk with Him. I praise God that I am not who I was a year ago.
That being said I start this new year knowing that this is going to be a tremendous year for what God is going to do through me. I believe this because of the journey He has taken me through in the last couple of months. He has slowly and steadily broken me down and helped me surrender so much of myself to His will. For the first time in my life I feel I can honestly say that He is the center of my daily life. When I wake up in the morning, He is the first thing I think about.
For the past 2 months I have been struggling, praying, and yearning to be filled with the power of the Holy Spirit so that I can actually be effective in service to Him. I have been so ineffective on my own up to this point. I am so fed up and frustrated with trying and failing as a missionary for Him. Last year God helped me to realize that I was failing because I was doing it from my power and not His. This started the journey of self-searching and surrender that led me through complete frustration and feeling like this quest would never end.
Then a couple of days ago (January 8th) while I was praying and reading a book called “They Found the Secret“,God revealed something to me. I was reading the chapter on W. Ian Thomas and God showed me through the words of that great man of faith that He had already given me the Holy Spirit, I just had to believe Him and choose to live in the power that I already had at work within me.
I got down on my knees and prayed to God, “Jesus, I believe that you have given me your Holy Spirit and I choose here, today, to walk from here on out in your power and not mine. Tomorrow, may you speak and act through me in what I do. Help me to always be an example of the triumph we have in Christ Jesus”.
I claimed 2 Corinthians 2:14, “But thanks be unto God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and makes manifest through us the savor of his knowledge in every place. ”
For me it was the act of faith that I was lacking previously. I had to accept this fact unwaveringly and step out with it. After I prayed this prayer I didn’t feel anything differently. I just believed that something had changed.
The next morning I woke up and had my daily quiet time, like usual. There was no great sense of closeness or feeling of power. But, as I went to work I believed that I was now filled with the power of God. I found myself taking risks I normally would have done and inviting people to our weekly bible study. And there did seem to be something different in the responses I got. No one came to the bible study the next night. But genuiene interest was expressed, and one person mentioned the next day that she regretted not going.
I know that this is just the beginning of what God will do if I continue to fully yield to Him and let Him work through me. If I stop trying to do it myself, I believe He can and will use me to do great things for His kingdom this year. I will keep you updated on what He does!
Praise and glory to Jesus Christ, the author and finisher of our faith!